The Perimenopause Pleasure Gap: Why Intimate Wellness Is Finally Getting the Conversation It Deserves

Something has shifted. In the past two years, “perimenopause” has moved from a word whispered in GP waiting rooms into a far more open conversation — and it is finally extending into sexual wellbeing. Bupa reported that Google searches for “libido enhancer for women” doubled between October 2024 and September 2025 (Bupa, 2026). Search interest tells you what people type into Google, not how many women have low desire. It does suggest more of them are asking.

What Perimenopause Actually Does to Desire

The menopause and perimenopause usually affect women between 45 and 55, but can happen earlier (NHS), and symptoms usually last for 7 to 9 years, sometimes longer (NHS). In the British Natsal-3 survey, about a third (34.2%) of sexually active women aged 16 to 74 said they had lacked interest in sex for three months or more in the past year (Mitchell et al., The Lancet, 2013). Vaginal dryness and other changes to vaginal tissue are common menopause symptoms (NHS) and can make sex uncomfortable. A 2021 review reported that between 27% and 84% of postmenopausal women have symptoms of genitourinary syndrome of the menopause, the medical term for these changes (Sarmento et al., 2021), and the British Society for Sexual Medicine says treatments are usually effective (BSSM). When sex hurts, a lot of women quietly shelve intimacy instead of asking for help. Please ask. Your GP can help.

The NHS says options for vaginal dryness include water-based lubricants and vaginal moisturisers, and that a GP can discuss prescribed oestrogen treatments if these are not enough (NHS). NICE recommends offering vaginal oestrogen to people with genitourinary symptoms of the menopause (NICE NG23).

The Lubricant Conversation We Should Have Had Years Ago

The NHS suggests using a water-based lubricant before sex to help with vaginal dryness (NHS). In a 2023 trial of five water-based lubricants, 174 women with vaginal dryness reported better comfort and higher sexual function scores after four weeks of use, but the trial was open-label and had no comparison group (Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2023). The NHS also lists perfumed soaps, washes and douches as a possible cause of dryness. Lubricant remains under-discussed, filed away at the back of the chemist rather than treated as the everyday intimate care product it can be.

Read the ingredients, and whatever the packaging tells you. The British Society for Sexual Medicine notes that some products contain irritants such as glycerin, which can paradoxically cause more irritation and thrush, and that oil-based lubricants can weaken condoms (BSSM). One water-based option we stock is the YES Organic Water Based Personal Lubricant; check its label for ingredients, and follow the maker’s instructions if you use it with a toy.

What Do We Know About Vibrators?

The research on vibrators is limited. National surveys in the US found that vibrator use among women is common and is linked with more positive sexual function scores, though surveys cannot show cause and effect (Herbenick et al., 2009). One small randomised trial of 81 women with sexual and pelvic floor problems found higher sexual function scores after 8 weeks of scheduled vibrator use than with an information leaflet alone (Obstetrics & Gynecology, 2026). Vibrators are sold for pleasure; they are not a treatment for menopause symptoms.

If you enjoy using one, that is a personal choice: follow the maker’s instructions for cleaning and lubricant, and stop if anything hurts. If sex is painful, speak to your GP.

Herbal Remedies and Supplements: Proceed With Care

Many women try herbal remedies for menopause symptoms: in one large UK questionnaire study, 25.1% of women aged 50 to 74 had ever used a complementary or non-drug approach, and herbal therapies were the most common type (Gentry-Maharaj et al., 2017). These are women’s own reports and do not show that any herb works, and placebo responses in menopause trials can be large (Li et al., 2017). The NHS says health-shop herbal products are not tested and regulated in the same way as medicines, so it is not known how safe and effective they are (NHS), and Bupa says many libido products have no scientific backing (Bupa). Speak to a GP or pharmacist before trying any, especially if you take other medicines.

What’s encouraging is the tone: this is a normal part of hormonal transition, not a failing. The NHS suggests vaginal moisturisers for vaginal dryness (NHS), and one we stock is the YES Vaginal Moisturising Gel; read the label, and speak to a GP if symptoms continue.

The perimenopause moment in wellness isn’t going anywhere — and neither is the expectation that intimate health deserves the same attention as sleep, nutrition, or mental wellbeing. If anything, 2026 feels like the year those conversations are finally happening in the same room.

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